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By the way, on some of the pictures, if you hover your pointer over the picture ya might find a comment from me on it, now that I've learned how to do that.
Now its time for the show to start & I think we'll start now!!!!
BAKED APPLES
2 apples 1 tbsp raisins 1/4 cup orange juice
Pinch ground cinnamon
Peel and core the apples. Coat with the orange
juice on the outer surface. Stuff with the raisins. Sprinkle on the
cinnamon. Place in Pyrex baking cups. Bake in a 350F oven for 25-30
minutes, or until fork pierces surface easily. Serve warm or cold.
Nutritional Information Per Serving: 74 Calories; 19 g Carbohydrate;
0 g Protein;0 Fat; 0 Sodium; 0 Cholesterol Diabetic Exchanges: 1-1/2
fruit
NOTE; this is a diabetic recipe
A "LOOSE" GUIDE ON EXERCISING.......
1) It is well documented that for
every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you,
at 85 years old, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at
$5,000 per month.
2) My grandmother started walking five miles a
day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we don't know where the heck she
is.
3) I joined a health club last year, spent about $400. Have not
lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.
4) I have to exercise early
in the morning before my brain figures out what I am doing.
5) I
figure if God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up
on our body.
6) I have flabby thighs, fortunately my stomach covers
them.
7) The advantage of exercising every day is that you die
healthier.
8) If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with
a small country.
OUT OF THE MOUTH OF "BABES".....
Justin, 3, was asked by his Daddy what
his Daddy's name was. Justin replied, "Daddy!" Daddy again said, "No,
what do people call me? What is Mommy's name?" Justin answered, "Cindy!"
Daddy said, "That's right, so what is my name?" Again Justin replied with,
"Daddy!" Thinking carefully Daddy asked,"OK, Justin, what does Grandma
call me?" To which Justin replied, "Nuthead!" ~~~~~~~~~ Their aunt gave
Holly, 3, and Ryan, 5, a goldfish. The children were very excited, but their
mother could see that the fish was moving very slowly and she wasn't sure
how long it would survive. The next morning her doubts were confirmed
when she overheard Ryan tell his little sister with excitement,"Look, Holly,
he sleeps on his side just like I do!" ~~~~~~~~~ Michael, 4, was
talking about church. He said with excitement, "My favorite thing is when we
all sing the vegetable song!" When his mother asked him which one that
was, he replied, "You know, Mom, 'Let There Be Peas On Earth!'"
WHEAT GERM
(Whenever I heard that phrase as a child I would always
go.. "ewwwwwwww"....but as an adult I have learned the many advantages
and uses of this handy product.)
Wheat germ is essentially the embryo of
the unprocessed wheat kernel, commonly known as a wheat berry. It is a
concentrated source of vitamins, minerals and protein. It has a nutty
flavor and is very oily, which causes it to turn rancid quickly. Wheat germ
is sold in both toasted and natural forms and is used to add nutrition to a
variety of foods. Wheat germ oil , an extraction of the germ, is
strongly flavored and expensive.
COCONUT/ALMOND GRANOLA TOPPING
3 tbsp firmly packed light brown
sugar 3 tbsp unsalted butter 1/2 tsp cinnamon 1/2 tsp vanilla 1/2
tsp salt 1 tsp freshly grated orange zest 1/2 cup sweetened flaked
coconut 1/2 cup sliced almond 1 cup old-fashioned rolled oats 1/4 cup
wheat germ
In a small saucepan combine the brown sugar, the butter,
the cinnamon, the vanilla, the salt, and the zest and cook the mixture
over moderately low heat, stirring, until the brown sugar is dissolved.
In a bowl stir together the coconut, the almonds, the oats, and the
wheat germ, add the brown sugar mixture,and toss the mixture until it is
combined well. Spread the granola in a jelly-roll pan, bake it in the middle
of a preheated 350°F. oven, stirring every 5 minutes, for 10 to 15 minutes,
or until it is golden, and let it cool. The granola keeps in an airtight
container for 1 week. Serve the granola as a topping for fruit salad or
on ice cream or puddings. Makes about 2 cups.
WRITE THAT AGAIN, SAM!!!?????
These are actual things written on
résumés...........
"Experience: Watered, groomed, and fed the family dog for
years."
"I am quick at typing, about 25 words per minute."
"Seek
challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually
inseparable."
"Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend." -- Corey Ford--
DOES YOUR DOG OWN YOU??
You believe every dog is a lap dog.
If you are cold, you put a sweater on your dog.
You have a
picture of your dog in your wallet, but not one of your kids.
You
have your dog talk to your friends on the phone.
You can't fully enjoy
yourself without your dog.
No matter how large your bed is, it is not
large enough for you and your dog(s).
You spend more on clothes and
food for your dog than you do for yourself.
You believe there is no
such thing as a naughty dog.
When you need someone to talk to, your dog
is your first choice.
You sit on the floor if the dog got in the
chair first.
CHERRY DUMPLINGS 1 (1 lb.) can pitted red sour cherries 1 cup sugar
1 cup sifted cake flour 1 tsp baking powder 1/4 tsp salt Grated
rind of 1 orange 1/3 cup milk 2 tsp. butter, melted
Put
undrained cherries and 3/4 cup sugar in large deep skillet and bring to
boil.
Sift 1/4 cup sugar, cake flour, baking powder and salt. Add
remaining ingredients and mix lightly. Drop from tablespoon into boiling
mixture, making 4 to 6 dumplings; cover and cook gently 20 minutes.
Serve warm topped with whipped dream.
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It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration has
a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes.
The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane's windshield at
approximately the speed the plane flies.
The theory is that if the
windshield doesn't crack from the carcass impact, it'll survive a real
collision with a bird during flight. It seems the British were very
interested in this and wanted to test a windshield on a brand new, speedy
locomotive they were developing.
They borrowed the FAA's chicken
launcher, loaded the chicken and fired. The ballistic chicken shattered the
windshield, went through the engineer's chair, broke an instrument panel
and embedded itself in the back wall of the engine cab. The British were
stunned and asked the FAA to recheck the test to see if everything was done
correctly.
The FAA reviewed the test thoroughly and had one
recommendation: "Use a thawed chicken."
(Why do I always want to
say....... bada bing, bada boom after I finish a joke here??)
"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back
to you when you have forgotten the words."
--anonymous--
A Message by GeorgeCarlin
Isn't it
amazing that the GeorgeCarlin â?" the often gross and mouthy comedian of the
70's and 80's could write something so very eloquent ... and so very
appropriate post 9/11/01.  He is a genius at writing about the ironies
and contradictions in our society.
The paradox of our time in history is
that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but
narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less. We buy more, but
enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences,
but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less
judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less
wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh
too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too
tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have
multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love
too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but
not a life. We've added years to life not life to years.
We've
been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing
the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not
inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned
up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not
our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but
accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more
computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we
communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow
digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow
relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce,
fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips,
disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies,
and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when
there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time
when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can
choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete. Remember,
spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be
around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you
in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the
only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a
cent. Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones,
but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it
comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment
for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give
time to speak and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
FOUR CHEESE
MANICOTTI ************************************************************
INGREDIENTS: 1
large onion; minced 1 pound mushrooms, sliced 1/2 cup butter or
margarine 1/2 cup flour 4 cups milk 1 1/2 ups parmesan cheese,
grated salt and pepper to taste 12 manicotti shells 1 pound deli-style
ricotta 4 ounces mozzarella cheese, diced 1/2 cup romano cheese,
grated 1/4 cup walnuts, finely chopped 1/4 cup parsley, chopped 3
eggs 1 dash nutmeg
DIRECTIONS: Saute onion and mushrooms in butter
5 minutes; stir in flour. Gradually stir in milk; stir over low heat
until sauce bubbles and thickens. Stir in 1 cup Parmesan cheese and salt
and pepper to taste; set aside. Cook manicotti shells according to package
directions; drain and cover with cold water. Mix together ricotta,
mozzarella, Romano and remaining Parmesan cheese; add walnuts, parsley
and eggs. Season to taste with salt, pepper and nutmeg. Drain manicotti
shells; stuff with cheese mixture. Place shells side by side in a greased
shallow baking pan; spoon sauce over all. Bake in preheated 400 degree oven
20 to 25 minutes, or until bubbly and golden.
DIRECTIONS: Insert toothpicks into the tops of the
strawberries. In a double boiler, melt the chocolate and shortening,
stirring occasionally until smooth. Holding them by the toothpicks, dip
the strawberries into the chocolate mixture. Turn the strawberries upside
down and insert the toothpick into styrofoam for the chocolate to cool.
A man in Los Angeles, California was arrested for negligent discharge of a
weapon after shooting his toilet five times with a 38 caliber
handgun.
He claims that he just got upset and " had it up to here"
after being unable to dislodge a hairbrush his daughter had
flushed earlier in the day.
The man received a psychological
evaluation and was released on personal recognizance. It is not known whether
or not the toilet pressed charges.
In Texas a burglary attempt was thwarted when a would be burglar broke
through a residential bathroom window and slipped, falling head-first against
the resident's toilet.
The burglar was still semi-conscious on the
bathroom floor when the police arrived. He was held at the local hospital
for observation and then turned over to the police for arrest.
Three mischievous boys went to the zoo one day for an outing, since they had
the day off from school.
They decided to visit the elephant cage, but
soon enough, they were picked up by a cop for causing a
disturbance.
The officer hauled them off to security for
questioning.
The supervisor in charge asked them to give their names
and tell what they were doing at the elephant cage.
The first boy
innocently said, "My name is Gary, and I was just throwing peanuts into the
elephant cage."
The second added, "My name is Larry, and all I was
doing was throwing peanuts into the elephant cage.
The third boy was a
little shaken up and said, "Well, my name is Peter, but my friends call me
Peanuts."
"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more
violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move
in the opposite direction."
- E. F. Schumacher
Signs you may Have bought a bad car
1. As you leave the used car lot,
you see the owner rush out with a gigantic smile and high-five the
salesman.
2. You notice that the car phone they threw in "for free"
has a direct line to Moes's Towing Company.
3. The booster cables are
not in the trunk but are permanently soldered to the battery.
4. The
hood has been equipped with a push-button device for quick and easy
opening.
5. The "Purchased From" sticker at the bottom of the
rear license plate has been removed.
6. You get a "Good Luck" card
from the previous owner.
7. As you drive up to a service station for
gas, the mechanic opens the big door and waves you in.
8. When you
leave for work the next morning, you notice a tow truck parked about a block
from your driveway. As you go by, it silently falls in behind
you.
9. The little "Service Engine" warning signal in the dashboard
comes on and reads "Me Again." ?
The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved - loved
for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves. -Victor Hugo,
1802-1885, French Poet, Dramatist, Novelist
-Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around. - Henry David Thoreau,
1817-1862, American Essayist, Poet, Naturalist
-Love is not blind -- it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it
is willing to see less. - Rabbi Julins Gordon
Folks, this is comming from one of my recipe
newsletters that I get & I didn't takne the time to check it out so BEFORE you use
anything here check it out for yourself ! ! ! PLEASE CHECK THIS FIRST ! ! !
Followup from yesterday's credit card alert: Another subscriber sent this
email and I would like to pass it on: I received this last year and sent
it to all my friends thought was a great idea. and I did it. Only thing is
you have to remember where you file it. Just FYI Place the contents of
your wallet on a photocopy machine. Do both sides of each license, credit
card, etc., so you will know what you had in your wallet and all of the
account numbers and phone numbers to call to cancel. Keep the photocopy
in a safe place. A corporate attorney sent this out to the employees in his
company. I pass it along, for your information. We've all heard horror
stories about fraud that's committed using your name, address, SS#, credit,
etc. Unfortunately I (the author of this piece who happens to be an
attorney) have firsthand knowledge, because my wallet was stolen last month
and within a week the thieves ordered an expensive monthly cell phone
package, applied for a VISA credit card, had a credit line approved to buy a
Gateway computer, received a PIN number from DMV to change my driving record
information online, and more. But here's some critical information to
limit the damage in case this happens to you or someone you know. As
everyone always advises, cancel your credit cards immediately, but the key
is having the toll free numbers and your card numbers handy so you know whom
to call. Keep those where you can find them easily. File a police report
immediately in the jurisdiction where it was stolen, this proves to credit
providers you were diligent, and is a first step toward an investigation (if
there ever is one). But here's what is <BR> perhaps most important:
(I never ever thought to do this) - Call the three national credit reporting
organizations immediately to place a fraud alert on your name and SS#. I had
never heard of doing that until advised by a bank that called to tell me an
application for credit was made over the Internet in my name. The alert
means any company that checks your credit knows your information was stolen
and they have to contact you by phone to authorize new credit. By the time I
was advised to do this, almost 2 weeks after the theft, all the damage had
been done. There are records of all the credit checks initiated by the
thieves' purchases, none of which I knew about before placing the alert.
Since then, no additional damage has been done, and the thieves threw my
wallet away this weekend (someone turned it in). It seems to have
stopped them in their tracks.
The numbers are: Equifax:
1-800-525-6285 Trans Union: 1-800-680-7289 Experian (formerly TRW):
1-888-397-3742 Social Security Administration (fraud line): 1-800-269-0271
REMEMBER, CHECK INFO. FIRST !
Popeye Pie
10 oz Fresh spinach;or 12 oz froz 2 Eggs; well beaten 1
cup 2% milk; 1/3 cup Celery; chopped 1/4 cup Onion; chopped 2 t
Parmesan cheese; grated 1/2 t Salt; 1/2 t
Nutmeg; ************************************************** Wash fresh
spinach and discard stems. Steam in a covered saucepan over low heat until
the leaves are wilted. Drain in a colander or sieve, press out liquid and
chop spinach.(OR Thaw frozen chopped spinach and press out liquid.) Mix
remaining ingredients together, then fold in spinach. Pour mixture into a
well greased 9 inch pie plate. Bake at 375 F for 45 minutes or until a knife
inserted in the middle comes out clean. Cut into 6 wedges and serve
warm. 1/6 recipe - 71 calories, 1 protein choice, 1/2 fruit &
vegetable choice 5 grams carbohydrate, 6 grams protein, 3 grams fat
Fresh out of business school, a young man
answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a
very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started
himself.
"I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said.
"But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for
me."
"Excuse me?" the accountant said.
"I worry about a lot of
things," the man said. "But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your
job will be to take all the money worries off my back."
"I see," the
accountant said. "And how much does the job pay?"
"I'll start you at
eighty thousand."
"Eighty thousand dollars!" the accountant exclaimed.
"How can such a small business afford a sum like that?"
"That," the
owner said, "is your first worry."
& now your at the end of the letter, I hope that you enjoyed
The times on this one are 281 seconds for 28K modem, 167 seconds for 56k modem & 77 seconds for cable/dsl
