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By the way, on some of the pictures, if you hover your pointer over the picture, ya might find a comment from me on it, now that I've learned how to do that.
Now its time for the show to start & I think we'll start now!!!!
REMEMBER WHEN:
Mom was at home when the kids got home from school.
When nobody owned a purebred dog. When a quarter was a decent allowance,
and another quarter, a huge bonus.
When you'd reach into a muddy
gutter for a penny. When all of your male teachers wore neckties and female
teachers had their hair done and wore high heels. When you got your
windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, all for
free, every time. And, you didn't pay for air. And, you got trading stamps to
boot.
When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to
dinner at a real restaurant with your parents. When the worst thing you
could do at school was smoke in the bathrooms, flunk a test or chew gum.
When a '57 Chevy was everyone's dream car ... to cruise, peel out,
lay rubber or watch submarine races, and people went steady and girls wore a
class ring with an inch of wrapped yarn so it would fit her finger.
And no one ever asked where the car keys were 'cause they were
always in the car, in the ignition, and the doors were never locked. And you
got in big trouble if you accidentally locked the doors at home, since no
one ever had a key.
Remember lying on your back on the grass with
your friends and saying things like "That cloud looks like a ... "
Remember jumping waves at the ocean for hours in that cold water. And
playing baseball with no adults to help kids with the rules of the game.
Back then, baseball was not a psychological group learning
experience--it was a game.
Remember when stuff from the store came
without safety caps and hermetic seals 'cause no one had yet tried to poison
a perfect stranger.
And with all our progress ... don't you just
wish, just once, you could slip back in time and savor the slower pace ...
and share it with the children of today...
Remember when being sent
to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a
misbehaving student at home. Basically, we were in fear for our lives,
but it wasn't because of drive by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc.... Our
parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! But we all survived
because their love was greater than the threat.
Go back with me for a
minute.... Before the Internet or the MAC Before semi automatics and
crack Before SEGA or Super Nintendo...Way back .... I'm talkin' bout
hide and go seek at dusk. Red light, Green light. Kick the can.
Playing kickball & dodge ball until your porch light came on.
Mother May I? Red Rover Hula Hoops Roller skating to music
Running through the sprinkler Wait ....
Catchin' lightning bugs in a
jar Christmas morning .... Your first day of school Climbing
trees
Bedtime Prayers and Goodnight Kisses Getting an Ice Cream off
the Ice Cream Truck A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers Jumpin'
on the bed.
Pillow fights Runnin' till you were out of breath
Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt Being tired from playin'....
Your first crush ....Remember that? I'm not finished yet....
Kool-aid was the drink of summer Toting your friends on your handle
bars Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school Class Field
Trips
When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there.
Didn't that feel good, just to go back and say, Yeah, I remember
that!
There's nothing like the good old days. They were good then,
and they're good now when we think about them.
Share some of these
thoughts with a friend who can relate, then share it with someone that
missed out on them.
I want to go back to the time when............
Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo" Mistakes were
corrected by simply exclaiming, "do it over!" "Race issue"; meant arguing
about who ran the fastest. Money issues were handled by whoever was the
banker in "Monopoly"
Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an
entire evening. It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends. Being
old, referred to anyone over 20. The worst thing you could catch from the
opposite sex was cooties.
Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made
better. It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big
people" rides at the amusement park. Getting a foot of snow was a dream come
true.
Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare"
Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.
The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team. Water
balloons were the ultimate weapon. Older siblings were the worst tormentors,
but also the fiercest protectors.
If you can remember most or all of
these, then you have LIVED!!!!
Pass this on to anyone who may need a
break from their "grown up" life.
I DOUBLE DOG DARE YA!!!!!!!
These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small
florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the
men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair.
He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back
and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist
hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to
"persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their
store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did
so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a
woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my five-year-old shout from
the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd
dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in
the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my
bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a
charming little smile,"We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell
in the toilet a few days ago."
A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the jar. During her
struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year old daughter to answer
the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then
she added, Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's
hitting the bottle."
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A mother was showing her son how to zip up his coat. "The secret," she said,
"is to get the left part of the zipper to fit in the other side before you
try to zip it up." The boy looked at her quizzically... "Why does it have to
be a secret?"
That's the same question I asked still today!! David 1
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's >
locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies
grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy Watched in amazement
and then asked, "What's the matter --haven't you ever seen a little boy
before?"
A little boy forgot his lines in a Sunday School presentation. His mother,
sitting in the front row to prompt him, gestured and formed the words
silently with her lips, but it didn't help. Her son's memory was blank.
Finally she leaned forward and whispered the cue, "I am the light of the
World." The child beamed and with great feeling and a loud, clear voice
said, "My mother is the light of the world."
A teacher asked her students to draw a picture of their favorite Old
Testament story, and as she moved around the class, she saw there were many
wonderful drawings being done. Then she came across Johnny who had drawn a
man driving an old car. In the back seat was a scantily-clad man and woman.
"It's a lovely picture," said the teacher, "but which > story does it
tell?" Johnny seemed surprised at the question. "Well," he exclaimed,
"doesn't it say in the Bible that God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden
of Eden?"
Did Ya' Know: ------------------------------------ Whose birthday is
celebrated on the third Monday of February? As far as the federal government
is concerned, it's Washington's birthday. But it's popularly (and in some
areas, officially) known as Presidents Day, in honor of both great men. The
holiday never falls on Lincoln's birthday (Feb. 12) and in most years
doesn't hit Washington's either; he was born Feb. 11.
If taken in high
doses over a period of time, vitamin B6 can cause nerve damage. The Food
and Nutrition Board of the National Academy of Sciences says that taking
more than 100 mg daily may be unsafe.
There are two types of dietary
fiber: soluble fiber, which helps keep cholesterol levels in check, and
insoluble fiber, which helps keep our bowels functioning
optimally.
Calcium isn't just important for building and maintaining
bone mass; studdies now show consuming high levels of calcium may also
help reduce the risk of colon cancer.
*grin* It makes people
wonder! ~AIKEN~
[||||] T I M E C H E C K -- At two minutes past eight p.m.
Wednesday night, a rare time palindrome occurred when the time and the
date read the same forward and backward (20:02, 20/02/2002). (USA
Today)
And mathematicians consider anyone who doesn't
consider this interesting a boob -- also a palindrome.
[||||] B O O ! -- National Guard units nationwide routinely report
non existent members to pentagon bean counters to insure the continued flow
of federal bucks to the state run khaki brigades. (USA Today)
The so called "ghost members" were discovered when a federal
official noticed a troop count verified by a General Casper L. Friendly.
[||||] R O C K T U R N I N G -- Lorillard Tobacco Co. has sued
the anti smoking American Legacy Foundation charging that they ran
"vilifying TV ads containing offensive statements." (USA Today)
PRECIOUS TIME
Author unknown
With a timid voice and idolizing eyes, the little boy
greeted his father as he returned from work,"Daddy, how much do you make
an hour?"
Greatly surprised, but giving his boy a glaring look, the
father said, "Look, son, not even your mother knows that. Don't bother me
now, I'm tired."
"But Daddy, just tell me please! How much do you make
an hour," the boy insisted. The father, finally giving up, replied: "Twenty
dollars per hour."
"Okay, Daddy? Could you loan me ten dollars?" the
boy asked.
Showing his restlessness and positively disturbed, the father
yelled, "So that was the reason you asked how much I earn, right? Go to
sleep and don't bother me anymore!"
It was already dark and the father
was meditating on what he said and was feeling guilty. Maybe he thought, his
son wanted to buy something that he really needed.
Finally, trying to
ease his mind, the father went to his son's room. "Are you asleep, son?"
asked the father. "No, Daddy. Why?" replied the boy, partially asleep.
"Here's the money you asked for earlier," the father said.
"Thanks, Daddy!" rejoiced the son, while putting his hand under his
pillow and removing some money. "Now I have enough!! Now I have twenty
dollars!" the boy said to his father, who was gazing at his son, confused at
what his son had just said.
"Daddy, could you sell me one hour of your
time?"
HILARIOUS "HELPFUL" HINTS.....
High blood pressure sufferers: Simply
cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your
veins.
Heavy smokers: Don't throw away those filters from the end of
your cigarettes. Save them up and within a few years you'll have enough to
insulate your attic.
A sheet of sandpaper makes a cheap and
effective substitute for costly maps when visiting the Sahara
desert.
Tape a chocolate bar to the outside of your microwave. If the
chocolate melts you will know that the microwaves are escaping and it is
time to have the oven serviced.
A mouse trap, placed on top on of your
alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
BEFORE........and.........AFTER.............
BEFORE CHILDREN: I was
thankful to have been born in the USA, the most powerful free democracy in
the world. AFTER CHILDREN : I am thankful for Velcro tennis shoes. As
well as saving valuable time, now I can hear the sound of my son taking off
his shoes which gives me three extra seconds to activate the safety locks on
the back seat windows right before he hurls them out of the car and onto the
freeway.
BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for the recycling program
which will preserve our natural resources and prevent the overloading of
landfills. AFTER CHILDREN : I am thankful for swim diapers because every
time my son wanders into water in plain disposables, he ends up wearing a
blimp the size of New Jersey, on his bottom.
BEFORE CHILDREN: I was
thankful for fresh, organic vegetables. AFTER CHILDREN : I am thankful for
microwaveable macaroni and cheese without which my children would be
surviving on about three bites of cereal and their own spit.
BEFORE
CHILDREN: I was thankful for material objects like custom furniture, a nice
car and trendy clothes. AFTER CHILDREN : I am thankful when the baby spits up
and misses my good shoes.
BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for a warm,
cozy home to share with my loved ones. AFTER CHILDREN : I am thankful for
the lock on the bathroom door.
HOT CROSS BUNS
Traditionally served on Good Friday, these small, lightly
sweet yeast buns contain raisins or currants and sometimes chopped
candied fruit. Before baking, a cross is slashed in the top of the bun. After
baking, a confectioners' sugar icing is used to fill the cross.
Traditional Hot Cross Buns
2 cups flour 4 tsp baking
powder 1/2 tsp salt 1/2 tsp cream of tartar 11/2 tsp cinnamon 11/2
tsp nutmeg 4 tsp sugar 1/2 cup butter 1/2 cup raisins 1/2 cup mixed
candied fruit (optional) 1 cup milk
Sift together into bowl flour,
baking powder, salt, cream of tartar, spices, and sugar. Cut in butter until
mixture is size of peas. Stir in fruits. Add milk all at once and quickly
stir in.
Turn out onto flour sprinkled board. Pat smoothly to 7/8 inch
thickness and cut out with floured 3 inch cutter. With back of knife
press a cross on top of each bun.
Mix 2 tsp sugar and 1 1/2 tsp milk.
Brush top of each bun with sugar mixture. Bake on ungreased baking sheet at
425 for 12 minutes. Makes 10 to 12 buns.
Why you don't want Microsoft designing cars....
Occasionally your car
would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this,
restart and drive on.
Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause
your car to stop and fail and you would have to RE-INSTALL the engine.
.
New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
The
airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off.
If you were
involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.
CRAZY>CRAZY>CROOKS.....
Karen Lee Joachimmi, 20, was arrested in
Lake City, Florida for robbery of a Howard Johnson's motel. She was armed
with only an electric chain saw, which was not plugged in. ~~~~~ David
Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I, after allegedly
knocking out an armored car driver and stealing the closest four bags of
money. It turned out they contained $800 in PENNIES, weighed 30 pounds each,
and slowed him to a stagger during his getaway so that police officers
easily jumped him from behind. ~~~~~ The Belgium news agency Belga
reported in November that a man suspected of robbing a jewelry store in Liege
said he couldn't have done it *because he was busy breaking into a
school at the same time.* Police then arrested him for breaking into the
school. ~~~~~ Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a
mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in
the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for
an oil change. According to police, Brasher later said that she didn't
realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil.
(DUH!!)
DIABETIC DELIGHTS.....
BAKED CUSTARD
2 cups water 3 large eggs
3/4 cup instant dry milk 1/4 tsp salt 1 1/2 tsp vanilla sugar
substitute equal to 1/4 cup sugar nutmeg (optional)
Heat 2 cups water
to 110 degrees to 115 degrees. Place eggs, dry milk, vanilla, salt and dry
sugar substitute in a bowl and mix well. Stir hot water into egg mixture.
Blend well, and pour a fourth of mixture into each of 4 custard cups.
Sprinkle custard lightly with nutmeg, if desired, and place the cups
in an 8" or 9" cake pan. Pour boiling water around the cups to a depth of 1
1/2". Bake at 325 degrees for about 1 hour, or until a knife comes out clean
from the center of custard. Cool at room temperature. Serve warm or
chilled. Makes 4 servings.
Nutritional information per serving:
Calories: 101; Cholesterol 8g; Protein 9g; Fat 5g; ; Exchanges: 2/3 milk
and 1 fat
When I wrote Balderdash for Volunteer Vittles last year, it was then geared
quite a bit to the "country" way of life. I gathered quite a collection of
old sayings and phrases that are quite unique. I hear some of these even now,
living in North Carolina. I thought I would share some with you and their
meanings. You might even recognize a few yourself!!
"split the
blanket".....get a divorce
"strong enough to hold up a twenty penny
spike".....very strong coffee
"tear your butt up like a tater just
been plowed".....get a spanking
"as awkward as two one-legged men in a
butt kicking contest.....very ungraceful
"on it like a big-footed
rooster on a June bug"......someone has a great interest in doing something
"that's like trying to herd cats" -- hard to do
"a real toad
strangler" --a lot of rain in a short time (usually said when frogs are seen
out on the road because the road is dryer than the ditch!!)
& now your at the end of the letter, I hope that you enjoyed
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