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By the way, on some of the pictures, if you hover your pointer over the picture, ya might find a comment from me on it, now that I've learned how to do that.
Now its time for the show to start & I think we'll start now!!!!
My husband, David, and I were discussing names of our unborn child.
I suggested Harley if it was a boy, David said, "No way." "Why are you so
against Harley?" I asked. "Because," he replied, "our son would be introduced
as Harley, David's son."
(Buffy Gregg)
Today's thought is: 020325 "Life by the mile is a trial; by the inch it's a
cynch."
In the past, we got into trouble when we thought we had to have
our lives mapped out forever. That just did not work.
We need only
deal with the problems and joys of today. If we try to see too far ahead,
we lose touch with the reality of the here and now. The Lord lets us know
what we need to know when we need to know it.
What seems impossible
when looked at in total-writing a book, putting the children through
college, abstaining for the rest of our lives-becomes manageable when worked
at step by step, day by day.
So many of the things we worry about
never happen. How much better it is to concentrate our energies on the real
demands and challenges of today, insignificant as they may seem. When we
turn our lives over to our Higher Power, we trust Him to manage the
master plan and to direct us in the small details of living each
day.
The Beatles - Loss Of Data (To the tune of "Yesterday")
Yesterday, All
those backups seemed a waste of pay. Now my database has gone away. Oh I
believe in yesterday.
Suddenly, There's not half the files there used
to be, And there's a milestone hanging over me The system crashed so
suddenly.
I pushed something wrong, What it was, I could not
say. Now all my data's gone and I long for
yesterday-ay-ay-ay.
Yesterday, The need for back-ups seemed so far
away. I knew my data was all here to stay, Now I believe in yesterday.
A porter loaded down with suitcases followed the couple to the
airline check-in counter.
As they approached the line, the husband
glanced at the pile of luggage and said to the wife, "Why didn't you bring
the piano, too?"
"Are you trying to be funny?" she
replied.
"No," he sighed forlornly. "I left the tickets on it."
Note from David 1: this is so me
on this one just shake your head & laugh if ya like it.
I once heard about an American professor who went on an extended sabbatical.
He took leave from his teaching duties to do some research at a university in
Glasgow. Being someone who liked his nightly pick- me-up, he went to the
local pub, the Ram and Tam, when he arrived. He was disappointed to find that
the publican, Angus McTavish, did not stock his favorite beverage, Jim Beam
bourbon.
Night after night, McTavish attempted to get the professor to
sample and learn about single malt scotch whiskies, some of which
were locally distilled and considered to be among the finest in the
world. McTavish tried to get the American to drink some of these
excellent whiskies, but to no avail. The professor still demanded his
bourbon.
So McTavish finally gave up, located a source of the particular
brand of bourbon that the professor craved and started serving it to
him.
Now when the professor walks into the pub for his nightly libation,
he shouts, "Beam me up, Scottie!"
Small hotel room
They had lived together in the backwoods for over fifty
years. To celebrate their fiftieth anniversary, he took her to a large city
and they checked into a plush hotel.
She said to the bellman, "We
refuse to settle for such a small room. No windows, no bed, and no air
conditioning."
"But, madam!", replied the bellman.
"Don't 'But
madam' me," she continued. "You can't treat us like we're a couple of fools
just because we don't travel much, and we've never been to the big city, and
never spent the night at a hotel. I'm going to complain to the
manager."
"Madam," the bellman said, "this isn't your room; this is
the elevator!"
Discoveries & Inventions !
The man discovered WEAPONS and invented HUNTING, The woman discovered
HUNTING and invented FURS.
The man discovered COLOURS and invented
PAINT, The woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.
The man
discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION, The woman discovered
CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.
The man discovered GAMBLING and
invented CARDS, The woman discovered CARDS and invented WITCHERY.
The man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD, The woman
discovered FOOD and invented DIET.
The man discovered FRIENDSHIP and
invented LOVE, The woman discovered LOVE and invented MARRIAGE.
The
man discovered WOMEN and invented SEX, The woman discovered SEX and invented
HEADACHES.
The man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY, The woman
discovered MONEY and that's when it all got messed up.
Dispersing a crowd
A rookie police officer was out for his first
ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them
to disperse some people who were loitering.
The officers drove to the
street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner.
The rookie
rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner people."
A
few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off that
corner... NOW!"
Intimidated, the group of people began to
leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction.
Proud of his first
official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how
did I do?"
Pretty good," chuckled the vet, "especially since this is
a bus stop."
It was brought to my attention by about 1/2 of my subscribers that I omitted
part of the Boston Cream Cheesecake recipe, Here it is in it's entirety.
Sorry about the
omission ******************************************************************* Boston
Cream Cheesecake
1 pkg. (1-layer size) yellow cake mix 3 pkg. (8 oz.
each) PHILADELPHIA Cream Cheese, softened 3/4 cup granulated sugar 2 tsp.
vanilla, divided 3 eggs 3/4 cup BREAKSTONE'S or KNUDSEN Sour Cream 2
squares BAKER'S Unsweetened Baking Chocolate 3 Tbsp. milk 2 Tbsp. butter
or margarine 1 cup powdered
sugar *********************************************************************
Grease bottom of 9-inch springform pan. Prepare cake mix as directed on
package; pour batter evenly into springform pan. Bake at 325 for 25 minutes
if using a silver springform pan. (Bake at 300 for 20 minutes if using a dark
nonstick springform pan.) Cool. Beat cream cheese, granulated sugar and 1
tsp. of the vanilla with electric mixer on medium speed until well
blended. Add eggs, 1 at a time, mixing on low speed after each addition
just until blended. Blend in sour cream; pour over cake layer. Bake at
325°F for 40 to 45 minutes or until center is almost set if using a silver
springform pan. (Bake at 300°F for 40 to 45 minutes or until center is almost
set if using a dark nonstick springform pan.) Run knife or metal spatula
around rim of pan to loosen cake; cool before removing rim of pan. Place
chocolate, milk and butter in medium microwavable bowl. Microwave on HIGH 2
minutes or until butter is melted, stirring after 1 minute. Stir until
chocolate is completely melted. Add powdered sugar and remaining 1 tsp.
vanilla; mix well. Spread over cooled cheesecake. Refrigerate 4 hours or
overnight.
Recipe for Staying Young submitted by Hannah
Throw out nonessential
numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about
them. That is why you pay him/her. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches
pull you down. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts,
gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the
devil's workshop," the devil's name is Alzheimer's. Enjoy the simple
things. When the children are young, that is all that you can afford. When
they are in college that is all that you can afford. When you are on
retirement that is all that you can afford Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh
until you gasp for breath. Laugh so much that you can be tracked in the store
by your distinctive laughter. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move
on. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it is family,
pets, keepsakes, music, plants, and hobbies, whatever. Your home is
your refuge. Cherish your health. If it is good, preserve it. If it is
unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get
help. Don't take guilt trips. Go to the mall, the next county, a
foreign country, but not to guilt country. Tell the people you love, that
you love them, at every opportunity. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER Life is not
measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our
breath away.
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2 cups well rinsed
basmati rice enough water to cover the rice by about one inch 1 can (about
15 ounces) Coconut Milk 2 tsp. freshly grated ginger 2 tbs. Butter*
Optional ****************************************************************** After
the rice has been rinsed very well with cool water until the water runs clear
add the rice to a non stick saucepan and add enough water to cover the rice.
Cook this over high heat for about 7 minutes. Drain the rice, rinse it one
more time. Return the rice to the pan and add the can of coconut milk. If
you wish you may add butter to the pan. Cook the rice now over low heat
with a cover on the pan for about 25 minutes. I check this every 10 minutes
or so to make sure that the rice is not too dry or burning. You may add milk
or more coconut milk if you see that it is too dry. All I had to do was
stir this a time or two. It was very good and did not stick together at all.
It is just wonderful.
Please excuse the name of the below cake but this is the name: Huricane from
Hell Cake submitted by Susan Preheat oven 350
In bottom of 9x13 pan,
place: 1 stick melted margarine, 1 cup chopped pecans 1 cup flaked
coconut Spread evenly.(This will be on the bottom)
Middle
Layer: Mix as directed on box: 1 german chocolate cake mix Pour this
batter over bottom layer Set aside while preparing topping
Top
layer: Melt over low heat: 8 ounces cream cheese 1 stick maragarine
1 teaspoon vanilla Gradually add 1 lb. box confectioner sugar until
mixed well Spoon this mixture over top of batter Bake 50-60
minutes/until top is bubbly and slightly crusty Serve in pan
Bavarian Apple Cheesecake submitted by Carol
-CRUST- 1/3 cup
sugar 1/3 cup butter or margarine 1 tablespoon shortening 1/4
teaspoon vanilla 1 cup flour 1/8 teaspoon salt -FILLING- 4
cups cooking apples -- peeld/cored/sliced 16 ounces cream cheese --
softened 1/2 cup sugar 1/2 teaspoon vanilla 2
eggs -TOPPING- 1/3 cup sugar 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1/4 cup
sliced
almonds ***************************************************************** In
a medium mixer bowl, beat the first 1/3 c. sugar, margarine or
butter,shortening and 1/4 tsp. vanilla on medium speed of an electric mixer
until combined. Blend in flour and salt until crumbly. Pat onto the
bottom of a 9"springform pan. Set aside. Place apple slices in a single
layer in a shallow baking pan. Cover with foil. Bake in a 400 F. oven for
15 minutes. Meanwhile, for filling, in a large mixer bowl, beat the cream
cheese, the 1/2 cup sugar and the 1/2 tsp. vanilla with an electric mixer
until fluffy. Add the eggs, all at once,beating on Low speed just
until combined. Pour into dough-lined pan. Arrange warm apple slices atop
filling. combine the remaining 1/3 cup sugar and cinnamon. Sprinkle filling
with sugar mixture and the almonds. Bake in a 400F. oven for 40 minutes. or
until golden. Cool. Remove sides and place cake on a serving plate. Cover
and chill for 4-24 hours before serving.
Did Ya' Know: 020325 ------------------------------------ The Sears Tower in
Chicago, Illinois reaches 1,707ft (including the antennas) into the sky, as
tall as 16 city blocks. It weighs more than 222,500 tons and is covered
by more than 28 acres of black aluminum. The Sears Tower contains enough
phone wire to wrap around the earth 1.75 times and enough electrical wiring
to run a power line from Chicago to Los Angeles.
The Chicago Cubs are
the oldest original franchise in professional sports, dating back to the
founding of the National League by team president Walter A. Hubert in
1876. Nicknamed the "lovable losers" of the North Side, the Cubs have not
won a World Series since 1908 and have not played in the fall classic since
1945.
Before he catapulted to fame, Bob Dylan was paid $50 in 1960
for playing the harmonica on a Harry Belafonte album.
Schoolbooks say
European civilization started 2,500 years ago in Greece. The ancient Greeks
established the arts, philosophy, and science that became the foundations of
Western culture. Their traditions of justice and individual freedom are
basic to democracy. For most of us, the lesson stopped 2,000 years ago,
and modern Greece is a mystery.
In Greece, this Monday is Independence
Day, marking the day in 1821 when the Greeks began a war to throw off
centuries of Turkish rule. Victory was won in 1829.
From YOU The
Reader's Dept.: Iv'e read that long ago pirate lore dictates that a true
pirate wore the gold or silver piercing to pay for their funeral if
he/she should die. The people who took the burden of a burial were
allowed to keep the piercings for their good deed. --Righteous
Rick
*grin* It makes people wonder! ~AIKEN~
Disguised in the army ._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._.
A man
was bragging to his friends about how his sister disguised herself as a man
and was able to join the army.
"But, wait a minute," said one listener,
"She'll have to dress with the boys and shower with them too. Won't
she?"
In a
small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only
married men. Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and
asked him, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because
you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous...or what?!"
"Not at all,
Ma'am," the manager replied. "It is because our employees are used to
*obeying* orders, are accustomed to being *shoved* around, know how to keep
their mouths *shut* and don't pout when I *yell* at them!!"
A vacationer e-mailed a seaside hotel to ask its location. "It's only a
*stone's* throw away from the beach," he was told.
"But how will I
recognize it??" asked the man.
Back came the reply: "It's the one with
all the broken windows!" ;-)
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for
it. For example, 1. How nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt. 2. When
I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog that barks all
the time run to the end of his chain and gag himself. 3. If you can't be
kind, at least have the decency to be vague. 4. A penny saved is a government
oversight. 5. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by
then your body and your fat are really good friends. 6. The easiest way to
find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. 7. He who
hesitates is probably right. 8. If you can smile when things go wrong, you
have someone in mind to blame. 9. The sole purpose of a child's middle name
is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. 10. How long a minute is
depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. 11. If ignorance is
bliss, why aren't more people happy? 12. Most of us go to our grave with our
music still inside of us. 13. If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how
come nothing is free yet? 14. You may be only one person in the world, but
you may also be the world to one person. 15. Some mistakes are too much fun
to only make once. 16. Don't cry because it's over: smile because it
happened. 17. We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are
pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different
colors.....but they all have to learn to live in the same box. 18. Everything
should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler. 19. A truly happy
person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. 20. Happiness comes
through doors you didn't even know you left open. 21. Once over the hill, you
pick up speed. 22. If not for STRESS, I'd have no energy at all. 23.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. 24. I know
God won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so
much. 25. You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because
you stop laughing. 26. Dogs have owners. Cats have a staff. 27. We cannot
change the direction of the wind... but we can adjust our sails. 28. If the
shoe fits......buy it in every color. 29. Have an awesome day, and know that
someone has thought about you today!
When her husband was on his death bed, and he
told her that he had three envelopes in his desk drawer that would "take
care" of all of the arrangements. Well, he died shortly thereafter, so
the wife opened the drawer and there were 3 envelopes just like he said.
One the first envelope it said "for the casket".
There was $5,000.00 in the envelope, so she bought him a very
nice casket.
The second envelope said "for the expenses" and
had $4,000.00 in it so she paid all the bills from the funeral.
The third envelope said "for the stone" and had
$3,000.00 in it. She then held her hand out to her friends and said, "Isn't
it Beautiful!!!"
I know I've done this one before but I like it
Gump Chips ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The day finally arrived:
Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St.
Peter himself, however the gates are closed and Forrest approaches the
Gatekeeper.
St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see
you. We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is
filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for
everyone. The tests are short, but you have to pass them before you can get
into Heaven."
"Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be here St.
Peter, sir, but nobody ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the
test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was." St. Peter goes
on, yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.
Here
is the first one:
What days of the week begin with the letter T? Second:
How many seconds are there in a year? Third: What is God's first name?"
Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees
St. Peter who waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think
the questions over, tell me your answers.
"Forrest says,"well, the
first one-how many days in the week begin with the letter "T?"
Shucks,
that one's easy, that'd be Today and Tomorrow."
The Saint's eyes open
wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what I was thinking, but you do
have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, so I'll give you credit for that
answer."
How about the next one?" asks St. Peter. "How many seconds in a
year?"
"Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk
about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve.
"Astounded,
St.Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come
up with twelve seconds in a year?"
Forest says "Shucks, there's gotta be
twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd. . .
"Hold it,"interrupts
St.Peter. "I see where you're going with this, and I see your point, though
that wasn't quite what I had in mind, but I'll have to give you credit for
that one, too. Let's go on with the next and final question. Can you tell me
God's first name"?
"Sure" Forrest replied, "its Andy."
"Andy!"
exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "OK, I can understand how
you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the
world did you come up with the name of Andy as the first name of
God?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I
learnt it from the song "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS
ME I AM HIS OWN.
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run
Forrest, run."
& now your at the end of the letter, I hope that you enjoyed
The times on this one are 238 seconds for 28K modem,
141 seconds for 56k modem & 65 seconds for cable/dsl
