Welcome to Sue's Corner Web
The News letter,
Click here for Sue's Corner Web's home page.
Click here for Sue's Corner 2nd stop home page.
Click here for prev. issues of the newsletter.
Just click a date when you get to the menu.
By the way, on some of the pictures, if you hover your pointer over the picture, ya might find a comment from me on it,
now that I've learned how to do that.
Now its time for the show to start & I think we'll start now!!!!
Q: How many women with PMS does it take to
screw in a
light bulb?
A: One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only
takes ONE?
Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change
a light
bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED
OUT. They would sit in this
house in the dark for
THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they
figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light
bulbs despite the
fact that they've been in the SAME
CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS.
But if, by some
miracle, they actually found the light bulbs, TWO
DAYS
LATER the chair that they dragged across two rooms
over to stand on
to change the STUPID light bulb would
STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND
UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE
THE RUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!
WHY?! BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT
THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A
WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED
FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET
DEEP
THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THIS HOUSE!! IT WOULD
TAKE AN ARMY TO
CLEAN THIS....
I'm sorry... what did you ask me?
Did Ya' Know: 020427
------------------------------------
At this Life Magazine
site you can search all Life
covers from 1936 to 1972, the years when Life
was
published as a weekly magazine. Enter a date and get
the covers
nearest that date, with the title and
photographer/artist. Click on the
cover and you'll
get a larger version.
http://www.life.com/Life/search/covers
The
U.S. Department of State furnishes this listing
of official U.S. Embassies
and other Diplomatic Posts
and Missions with links to each.
http://usembassy.state.gov/
The
groundhog is only accurate in predicting the
weather 28% of the
time.
From YOU The Reader's Dept.:
I recall seeing the original
"Whistler's Mother" at
the famous Huntington Library in Southern
California
and cannot imagine that it would have been sold. --Dave
*grin* It makes people wonder!
~AIKEN~
Pita Pizzas submitted by Susan
Nonstick cooking spray
1/2 lb. boneless
skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1/2 inch cubes.
1/2 cup thinly sliced red
bell pepper
1/2 cup thinly sliced mushrooms
1/2 cup thinly sliced red
onion(about 1 small)
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 t.dried basil leaves
1/2
t. dried oregano leaves
1 cup torn fresh spinach leaves
6 mini whole wheat
pita breads
1/2 cup(2 oz) shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese
1 t.
parmesan cheese,
grated
*********************************************************************
Preheat
oven to 375
Spray medium nonstick skillet with cooking spray;
Heat over
medium heat until hot.
Add chicken; cook & stir 6 minutes
or until
browned & no longer pink in center. Remove chicken from
skillet.
Spray same skillet again with cooking spray, add bell
pepper,
mushrooms,onion, garlic, basil & oregano. Cook & stir
over
medium heat 5-7 minutes or until vegetables are crisp tender.
Return
chicken to skillet; stir well.
Place spinach on top of pita breads.
Divide
chicken & vegetable mixture evenly, spoon over spinach
leaves. Sprinkle
evenly with mozzarella &parmesan cheese.
Bake uncovered 7-10 minutes or
until cheese is melted.
Celery Salad
4 to 5 celery stalks
4 Tbsp. salt
7 cups water
5
Tbsp. soy sauce
3 Tbsp. vinegar
3 Tbsp. sesame seed oil
2 carrots
shredded
Remove the top and bottom tips off of each celery stalk and
cut
the stalks into thin diagonal strips. Add salt to water and bring
to a
boil. Add celery to boiling water and blanch for just a
few minutes so that
celery is crisp tender. Drain celery in a
colander and rinse well with cold
water to stop the cooking
process. Mix together soy sauce, vinegar and sesame
seed oil.
Add to the celery and mix well. Garnish with shredded carrot
and
serve
Chocolate Cake
Dry ingredients:
1 and 3/4 cups flour
3/4
cup cocoa
2 cups brown sugar
1 and 1/2 t. baking powder
1 and 1/2 t.
baking soda
1 t. salt
***********************************
1/2 cup
oil
2 eggs
2 t. vanilla extract
1 cup milk
1 cup boiling water (or
coffee)
**********************************************
Add all dry
ingredients together and mix well
Add eggs, milk, and vanilla and mix
well.
Add boiling water/coffee at the end and mix well.
(Batter will be a
bit runny).
Pour into a greased 8"tin and bake for approx.
50 - 60
minutes at 300 F.
(We used a Bundt cake pan when we made this cake and
it
worked very well).
Today's thought is: 020427
Developing ourselves
We must realize in our
hearts that we are becoming better people.
We do this by using our highest
standards and making our best
efforts. We do this, in part, by turning our
lives over to God, who
will guide us if we sincerely ask.
As we
develop, we find we're offering much more to life than just
avoiding
mood-altering drugs. We are coming to love others and
to help them by
thinking, feeling, and behaving maturely in all
situations.
Am I
developing into a better person?
Higher Power, help me realize that my
new life is not just about
changing my past but about developing my future
as well.
Today I will work on developing myself by .
* * * * * * *
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
Day by Day
by Anonymous copyright 1975
available through our online bookstore at:
http://www.hazeldenbookplace.org/store/product.asp?sku=1902
Today's thought is: 020428
Fear triggers attack.
Any attack whether verbal
or physical, is caused by fear. When
contemplating an attack, we need to
ask ourselves, "What is
causing the fear?" That's the issue to consider,
and the answer is
always the same. Fear occurs when we align ourselves with
the
ego. Fear has no life of its own.
The urge to attack another
person is manageable. We can always
curtail the impulse if we are willing
to seek the help of the Holy
Spirit. Its voice is softer than the voice of
the ego, so we have to
grow quiet to hear it. But we'll see our "opponent"
quite
differently after listening to the Spirit.
The Holy Spirit is
capable only of love. If we are not at peace in a
situation, or if we
harbor any thought other than love, we are not
aligned with the quiet
voice. The only barrier of feeling love is the
one the ego constructs. We
are lucky that its voice can be ignored
in an instant.
The voice I
hear today determines my level of peace.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
Daily Meditations for
Practicing the Course by Karen Casey copyright 1995
available through our
online bookstore at:
http://www.hazeldenbookplace.org/store/product.asp?sku=5159
FOR THE LADIES:
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping
for
breath and calling your name?
A: You didn't hold the pillow down
long enough.
NO Susan, this is just a joke.
"Diamonds are nothing more than chunks of coal that stuck
to their jobs."
- Malcolm Forbes
Did Ya' Know: 020428
------------------------------------
The word "shrimp" comes
from the German "schrumpfen",
meaning something that has shriveled or gotten
smaller
- as some store-bought shrimp seem to do when
cooked.
Playwright William Wells Brown was the first black
American
to write a play in the United States.
"Escape", or "A Leap for Freedom", was
written in 1858.
The device that switches off the ringer on a Japanese
cell phone is called the "manners button," and its LCD
icon is a
heart.
*grin* It makes people wonder!
~AIKEN~
Today's thought is: 020429
You grow up the day you have the first real laugh-at
yourself.
--Ethel Barrymore
If we are always serious and never see the
funny side of life, there
will be no respite from our illnesses. It takes
fewer muscles to
laugh than to cry. We'll breathe easier and deeper, and
we'll be
much more content when we laugh.
We can choose to pay
attention to why other people are laughing
and learn to laugh along with
them. We can try every day-even
every hour-to find the positive or humorous
side of life, for
laughter helps us put things into perspective. It lends
hope and
meaning to life.
I will open my eyes to the funny side of
life and laugh with others.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
*
Today's meditation comes from the book
Finding the Joy in Today by
Sefra Kobrin Pitzele copyright 1988
available through our online bookstore
at:
http://www.hazeldenbookplace.org/store/product.asp?sku=5489
[||||] P I S T O L J A C K P O T [||||]
Conflicting tattoos
and arguments over who had the fewest teeth left are
being cited by
Laughlin, NV gendarmes for two am gunplay in Harrah's
that sent three kick
starters to Harley heaven. (LA Times)
Terrified bystanders dove for
cover but somehow managed to continue
yanking their one armed bandits while
lying on the floor.
[||||] B L A S T O F F ! [||||]
Aussie
cybermillionnaire Mark Shuttleworth paid the Ruski space program
twenty
million big ones for the privilege of being shot into the wild
blue tucked
into a Soyuz space capsule. (AP)
Wit 'til he finds out the mission
commander is an Aborigine.
The staff at a local United Way office realized it had never
received a
donation from the town's most successful lawyer.
The person in charge of
contributions called him to persuade him
to contribute and said, "Our
research shows that out of a yearly
income of at least $500,000, you give not
a penny to charity.
Wouldn't you like to give bback to the community in some
way?"
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First,
did
your research also show that my mother is dying after a long
illness,
and has medical bills that are several times her
annual
income?"
Embarrassed, the United Way representative mumbled,
"Um... No."
"Or," the lawyer continued, "that my brother, a disabled
veteran,
is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"
The stricken United
Way representative began to stammer out an
apology but was interrupted when
the lawyer added, "Or that my
sister's husband died in a traffic accident?"
the lawyer's voice
rising in indignation, "Leaving her penniless with
three
children?"
The humiliated United Way representative, completely
beaten, said
simply, "I had no idea..."
On a roll, the lawyer cut him
off once again, "So if I don't give
any money to them, why should I give any
to you?"
A married couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary.
At
the party everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay
married so long
in this day and age. The husband responded "When
we were first married we
came to an agreement. I would make all
the major decisions and my wife would
make all the minor
decisions. And in 60 years of marriage we have never
needed to
make a major decision."
Now that summer is almost here, camping will be
a favorite past-time for many of you. For the
neophytes,
to start a good campfire just follow these simple
directions...
Split dead limb into fragments and shave one
fragment
into slivers.
Bandage left thumb.
Chop other fragments
into smaller pieces.
Bandage left foot.
Make pile structure of
slivers (include those embedded in hand)
Light match.
Try to light
match again. Match may be damp.
Repeat (without swearing) "A scout is
cheerful" and light match.
Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments,
and putting your face close,
blow gently into base of fire.
Apply burn
ointment to nose.
When fire is burning, collect more wood.
Upon
discovering that fire has gone out while searching for more
wood, soak wood
from can labeled "kerosene."
Treat face and arms for second-degree
burns.
Re-label can to read "gasoline."
When fire is burning well,
add all remaining firewood.
When thunder storm has passed, repeat steps
above.
Maybe cheat by adding crumpled newspaper.
Two older women, Judy and Monica, who were rivals in a
social circle met at a
party.
"My dear," said Monica, "Are those real pearls?"
"They
are," replied Judy.
"Of course, the only way I could tell would be for
me
to bite them," smiled Monica.
Judy responded, "Yes, but for that
you would need real teeth."
Cracked
Pot
A
water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a
pole
which he carried across his neck.
One of the pots
had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and
always
deliveredafull portion of water.
At the end of the long walk
from the stream to the house, the cracked pot
arrived only half
full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer
delivering only one
and a half pots full of water to his house. Of
course, the perfect pot was
proud of its accomplishments, perfect
for which it was made.
But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its
own imperfection, and miserable
that it was able to accomplish only
half of what it had been made to do.
After 2 yrs of what it
perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the
water bearer one
day by the stream. I am ashamed of myself, and I want to
apologize
to you. I have been able to deliver only half my load because
this
crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to
your
house.
Because of my flaws, you have to do all
of this work, and you don't get
full value from your efforts," the
pot said. The bearer said to the pot,
"Did you notice that there
were flowers only on your side of the path, but
not on the other
pot's side? That's because I have always known about your
flaw,
and I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every
day
while we walk back, you've watered them. For two years I have
been able to
pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.
Without you being just
the way you are, there would not be this
beauty to grace the house?
Moral:
Each of us has our
own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But it's the
cracks and
flaws we each have that make our lives together so very
interesting
and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what
they
are, and look for the good in them.
Blessed are the flexible,
for they shall not be bent out of shape.
Remember to appreciate all
the different people in your life!
Blessings to all my crackpot
friends
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two
hundred dollars,
and a substantial tax cut save you thirty
cents?
----------------------------
I asked Mom if I was a gifted child...
she
said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
----------------------------
Confusion is one woman plus one left
turn;
Excitement is two women plus one secret;
Bedlam is three women plus
one bargain;
Chaos is four women plus one lunch
check
from: Bob
The most comprehensive humor
archive.
100's of Jokes, 1000's of JPG's/GIF's,
Sound clips, Video
Clips and PARODY SONGS
http://www.bwjokes.com
SAT Answers
The following questions and answers were collated from
SAT tests given
in
Springdale, Arkansas in 2000 to 17 year old students!
(Don't laugh too
hard-one of these may be the president someday.)
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q:
Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes
large
pollutants
like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q:
How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them
perspire.
Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by
sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a
fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water
tends to
flow towards
the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and
nature
abhors a
vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: In a democratic
society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only
happen when a male gets an election.
Q: What are steroids?
A:
Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your
body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get
intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches
puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his
adultery.
Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A:
Premature death.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep
it in the cow.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized?
(E.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium,
the borax
and the
abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the
borax contains
the
heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains
the five bowels,
A,E,I,O
and U.
Q: What is the Fibula?
A:
A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q:
What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent
contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q: Give the meaning of the term
"Caesarean Section."
A: The caesarean section is a district in
Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What
is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport
Q: Give
an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms.
They always grow in damp places and so they look like
umbrellas.
Q:
What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you
be eight.
Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his
head.
Q: What is a Hindu?
A: It lays eggs
& now your at the end of the letter, I hope that you enjoyed
The times on this one are seconds for 28K modem,
seconds for 56k modem & seconds for cable/dsl
thanks, David 1